Late-Night Personalities Take Aim At Trump's New 'Gold Card' Visa Scheme

Late-night's prominent comedians spent the evening ridiculing ex-President Donald Trump's recently launched visa initiative, dubbed the "gold card," characterizing it as a obvious pay-to-play scheme for the affluent.

The Late Show's Pointed Analysis

Starting his show, Stephen Colbert delivered a sardonic Christmas song about the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, checking it twice, and then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "Trump ... spoils each thing he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial initiative which permits overseas nationals to purchase U.S. legal status for the price of a million dollars, with a "top-tier" tier for 5 million. A government portal guarantees approval "with unprecedented speed."

"One thought for you to affluent foreigners: prior to you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He noted that the program is also meant to "extract cash" from businesses wanting to hire skilled workers, involving significant fees. "That is a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – provided that it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he added.

"The most thorough background check the government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Critique

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "For a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"Maybe it's time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel said. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you give the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging approval ratings during economic worries. "People gave Donald Trump a second term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, where he behaved oddly to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by mocking conservative news coverage of Trump's economic record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.